As with any good story it’s important to start at the beginning.

You don’t learn to pick up by walking out of your house one day and saying “from now on I’m going to get whatever woman I want.” Maybe that’s how you get started on the road to getting there but that isn’t what does it.

You have to understand that this isn’t some easy trick or gambit. It’s not learn this line and do this thing and women are going to fall all over themselves to climb into their bed. You can’t and they won’t. It’s more than that.

Becoming a pick up artist is about learning the basics. What are the basics? I’ll start you out with a few:

• Look good. There’s a lot of people out there who will tell you looks don’t matter. That’s baloney. Looks matter a LOT. That doesn’t mean you’re up a creek if you weren’t born looking like Prince Charming. But it DOES mean if your idea of fashion is wearing what’s comfortable and your idea of a stylish haircut is whatever the artists at SuperCuts are willing to provide for $13, you need a serious upgrade. Get your looks in order for a BIG step up in how women treat you.

• Smile. Sound silly? You wouldn’t believe how many guys I’ve seen walk up to women looking like they’re about to deliver the news that the poor girl’s dog got hit by a car. Stop doing that. Picking up girls is a lot of fun – don’t make it a chore for her. Or else she won’t come when you ask her somewhere later.

• Talk loud. If you’re shy or quiet or mousy or geeky or nerdy or your voice sucks or anything else at all whatsoever, you can go a long way to fixing it by TALKING LOUD. I’m not joking. Scientists found that the louder a man talks the more likely women are to leave a bar or party with him at the end of the night. If that doesn’t make you go buy a megaphone to take with you when you go pick up I don’t know what will.

• Talk slow. Because annoying people talk fast. And you don’t want to be annoying women do you?

• Let her talk… about her. I know I know, you’re dying to tell her how amazing you are and you’re certain she won’t be able to stop herself from positively leaping down your pants after that. Right? Resist the urge to be like every other guy she’s ever met ever telling her all the pseudo amazing things about yourself that aren’t really all that amazing (oh you rock climb? So did 3 other men who approached her this week). Get her talking about herself and the battle’s won before it even started.

Take those basics and run with them. Everything else you can figure out on your own if you get the basics of picking up women down.

Think I’m kidding? I’m not. Stop trying to make her laugh by doing that idiot thing with the ice cubes and your pinkie finger. Start doing the stuff above to make her panties wet instead.

~Bret